It's. Just. Sex.

All about sex and sexuality in your 20's. Ask your questions and I'll answer honestly. Judgement Free.

Anonymous asked: Hi im new to masturbating and my friends told me I should try to use a shower head. Have you ever done that? and like is there a technique?

Haha no techinque, everyone’s a little different so there isn’t one way to do it :) You just take the trial and error approach.  Keep trying different things until something feels just a little bit better, then keep doing that.  You can use your hands, the shower head, a vibrator, porn, anything! Have fun with it and be patient.

xo

Anonymous asked: I have always love the idea of 3somes and group sex I am a str8 male 35 not turned on by men at all but love watching women fuck MFM but I am most turned on by FFM I so want 2 sexy girls to suck me off and the hottest thing to me would be to fuck my gf doggy while another girl licks her clit. I would also love to have my gf getting it from another guy doggy while she sucks me. Is this strange? Why is this such a turn on for me to share and be shared? I love sex and I am comfortable with myself.

This isn’t strange at all! I think these are some of the most common fantasies I’ve heard about.  All you have to do now is live them out ; ) You’d be surprised at how many women and men would be enthused to do all of this.  Good luck and have fun!

Anonymous asked: Eveeryone makes it seem like having sex for the first time is a big deal, and you need to do it with someone you love or that you are in a relationship with. Is it really a bad thing in your opinion to not be inlove with the first person youre having sex with? Your title, "Its. Just. Sex.", is that trying to say that it shouldnt be made a big deal of? What if its just someone Im really attracted to but I may not love

Well, what it all comes down to is that it is entirely your choice.  I lost my virginity with someone unimportant and on a whim because I just wanted some experience.  I wanted my first time with someone I cared about to be good, not painful and awkward.  HOWEVER, I do see the appeal of waiting for it to be “right.”  When you care deeply (or love) someone and you lose your virginity to that person I think it ends up bringing you closer.  I can’t say since that wasn’t the road I took.

My blog isn’t titled “It’s.Just.Sex” because I think it isn’t a big deal.  It IS a big deal. Sex changes lives.  My title means that it shouldn’t be something taboo to talk about.  I want people like you to be asking questions.  I want to be with my friends and sit through a casual conversation about sex.  It’s “just sex” in that almost everyone does it so we should be able to go to one another when we’ve got questions, concerns, exciting stories, etc.  Maybe I should do a better job of making that clear…oops!


What it boils down to is your feelings.  If you’re hesitant, don’t do it.  If you do want to lose your virginity to someone you care about and who cares about you but you’re just growing impatient, don’t do it. Wait. But if you simply do not hold the same values as other people and you aren’t looking to have sex with someone you love, you don’t have to wait for that.  It won’t ruin your life. And people won’t hate you.  Just make sure both people want it, use protection, and have fun! 

Anonymous asked: Would you post a nude for us?

I would not. My parents read this blog!

Anonymous asked: Shaving and waxing hysteria needs to STOP!! My GF keeps everything shaved and waxed. I trim; however, I refuse to shave. She prefers I have a"slick snake", but I have no plans to shave/wax my tenders. I love her, but I would prefer her to have some bush. Where did we get the idea that bush is bad? It's sexy as hell... Would you expect your man to shave or wax for you? Why do so many have an aversion to pubic hair? Would you keep some bush if your guy enjoyed it? Oh the drama. I'm 29 she is 25

Amen, brotha.

I’ve found myself a bit frustrated at the ideals we’ve come to normalize in our culture for the mere fact that it is EXHAUSTING to try to be perfectly smooth at any given moment.  While I am personally all for shaving and waxing MYSELF, I do understand and respect when someone differs.  I also expect that same kind of respect and understanding in return.

I think it is A-Okay for a partner to demand some level of grooming.  I don’t care if a guy shaves or not, but I don’t want stray hairs in my mouth or long hairs tickling my face when I’m using my mouth, so I do expect some level of trimming or shaving or even combing if that does the trick.  Of course, there are people out there who probably friggen love a surplus amount their partners’ pubic hair in, on, or around their mouths, but that is not for me and it sounds like your girlfriend is in a similar boat.

However, for your girlfriend to demean your grooming preferences is rude and out of line.  I don’t think anyone has the right to tell their partner to do something differently about their physical appearance, unless health is involved and/or it’s a more of a suggestion rather than a demand.  The same goes for you in regards to her grooming choices.  

I suggest you just have a chat about it!  Maybe she isn’t aware of how turned on you’d be if she weren’t sporting the ‘bald eagle.’  Quite frankly, I love shaving and being smooth, but if the guy I was dating told me he’d be thrilled with a more au-natural look, I’d be happy to oblige.  Maybe not ALL the time, since part of my shaving is solely for my own pleasure, but definitely some of the time.

We value smooth goodies because of our culture.  It’s as simple as that.  Venus commercials make hairless bodies look more than ideal and a good chunk of mainstream porn seems to make it a point not to have any hairy characters, male or female.  As it were, the media directly effects what we fancy whether we want it to or not, thus creating girlfriends who want to suck on ‘slick snakes’ and boyfriends who didn’t even know women had pubic hair to begin with.

There is no right or wrong answer here. Kind of like the rest of sex.  It’s too diverse a subject for there to ever be one way to do it right, with the exception of consent being an absolute, of course.

Go talk to your girlfriend about this.  Tell her you’re not shaving. And tell her how much you’d love it if she didn’t either.  However, be aware that if she LIKES being smooth then you don’t really have any right to be upset with her.  A choice is a choice and, for the most part, it deserves to be respected.

Good luck!!

Our lives are not as limited as we think they are, the world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, but love does work. All things are possible. We all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.

—Tom Robbins (via iheartloons)

(via raw-sensual-passion)

Anonymous asked: How do I initiate talking to a guy I like?

:) You just do! I’m serious.  Go up to him or text him and ask him how he is.  Or ask him if he’s ever been to a certain restaurant.  Or ask him if he like junior mints. Or ask him if he’d be interested in grabbing a beer with you.

You should also talk yourself out of hyping up the situation.  It’s easy to get nervous and then to let your thoughts snowball into a storm of horrifying “what ifs.”  Just keep yourself grounded and know that whatever happens, it was bound to happen anyway.  Maybe he won’t be super responsive, so what! OR maybe he’ll be thrilled to chat and you’ll end up dating! You won’t know until you take action :)

Go for it!

Anonymous asked: Are u single?

Yes, but not available.  Meaning, I am single and content, not lonely and searching.

xoxox