It's. Just. Sex.

Anonymous asked: Shaving and waxing hysteria needs to STOP!! My GF keeps everything shaved and waxed. I trim; however, I refuse to shave. She prefers I have a"slick snake", but I have no plans to shave/wax my tenders. I love her, but I would prefer her to have some bush. Where did we get the idea that bush is bad? It's sexy as hell... Would you expect your man to shave or wax for you? Why do so many have an aversion to pubic hair? Would you keep some bush if your guy enjoyed it? Oh the drama. I'm 29 she is 25

Amen, brotha.

I’ve found myself a bit frustrated at the ideals we’ve come to normalize in our culture for the mere fact that it is EXHAUSTING to try to be perfectly smooth at any given moment.  While I am personally all for shaving and waxing MYSELF, I do understand and respect when someone differs.  I also expect that same kind of respect and understanding in return.

I think it is A-Okay for a partner to demand some level of grooming.  I don’t care if a guy shaves or not, but I don’t want stray hairs in my mouth or long hairs tickling my face when I’m using my mouth, so I do expect some level of trimming or shaving or even combing if that does the trick.  Of course, there are people out there who probably friggen love a surplus amount their partners’ pubic hair in, on, or around their mouths, but that is not for me and it sounds like your girlfriend is in a similar boat.

However, for your girlfriend to demean your grooming preferences is rude and out of line.  I don’t think anyone has the right to tell their partner to do something differently about their physical appearance, unless health is involved and/or it’s a more of a suggestion rather than a demand.  The same goes for you in regards to her grooming choices.  

I suggest you just have a chat about it!  Maybe she isn’t aware of how turned on you’d be if she weren’t sporting the ‘bald eagle.’  Quite frankly, I love shaving and being smooth, but if the guy I was dating told me he’d be thrilled with a more au-natural look, I’d be happy to oblige.  Maybe not ALL the time, since part of my shaving is solely for my own pleasure, but definitely some of the time.

We value smooth goodies because of our culture.  It’s as simple as that.  Venus commercials make hairless bodies look more than ideal and a good chunk of mainstream porn seems to make it a point not to have any hairy characters, male or female.  As it were, the media directly effects what we fancy whether we want it to or not, thus creating girlfriends who want to suck on ‘slick snakes’ and boyfriends who didn’t even know women had pubic hair to begin with.

There is no right or wrong answer here. Kind of like the rest of sex.  It’s too diverse a subject for there to ever be one way to do it right, with the exception of consent being an absolute, of course.

Go talk to your girlfriend about this.  Tell her you’re not shaving. And tell her how much you’d love it if she didn’t either.  However, be aware that if she LIKES being smooth then you don’t really have any right to be upset with her.  A choice is a choice and, for the most part, it deserves to be respected.

Good luck!!

Anonymous asked: How do I initiate talking to a guy I like?

:) You just do! I’m serious.  Go up to him or text him and ask him how he is.  Or ask him if he’s ever been to a certain restaurant.  Or ask him if he like junior mints. Or ask him if he’d be interested in grabbing a beer with you.

You should also talk yourself out of hyping up the situation.  It’s easy to get nervous and then to let your thoughts snowball into a storm of horrifying “what ifs.”  Just keep yourself grounded and know that whatever happens, it was bound to happen anyway.  Maybe he won’t be super responsive, so what! OR maybe he’ll be thrilled to chat and you’ll end up dating! You won’t know until you take action :)

Go for it!

Anonymous asked: Are u single?

Yes, but not available.  Meaning, I am single and content, not lonely and searching.

xoxox

Anonymous asked: Hey there! I've been in a relationship for several months and he's a really great guy. The problem is I've recently felt like his second (or third or fourth) priority when we're together. He'll almost always talk about his friends or be on his phone. I rarely get compliments, but he tells me.he loves me quite often. I'm just not sure how to approach a conversation with him about this without sounding like a "tell me I'm pretty!" Kind of thing.

Oy. I know exactly what you’re dealing with.  Here’s the thing: people who get into the habit of taking their loved ones for granted rarely ever get OUT of that habit.  He’s probably aware of his draw backs but thinks nothing of them because you haven’t mentioned it.  But you should never ever ever feel like a low priority in a healthy, loving relationship.  Ever.  And the only way to fix that is to be totally blunt.

You don’t necessarily have to say, “tell me I’m pretty!”  That can sound a little desperate and naive, so I think it’s a good choice to avoid that kind of wording.

However, it wouldn’t be out of place to have a conversation and say something like, “Look, I know you care about me but sometimes it feels like you don’t make me a priority in your life.” You can then go on to bringing up how you’ve been getting a bit insecure about HIS feeling toward YOU, both because he doesn’t verbalize much but because he doesn’t show much either.

While it is absolutely fine (necessary, actually!) for him to like his friends and be with them and have a life outside of you, it isn’t okay for him to neglect you.  It doesn’t make you crazy or psycho or “that girl” because you want a little more attention from him.  Relationships don’t just sit idle with absolutely no effort from both parties and thrive.  That isn’t realistic.  As much as we’d all love to be involved in something so effortlessly perfect, it simply does not exist.  If you aren’t feeling valued, you need to speak up without feeling like a flaming desperado.  And if he isn’t perceptive or makes it a huge deal, then he probably isn’t ever going to change and the relationships is probably going to end.

Communication can make a world of difference.  Just be ready for any outcome.  I’m banking on a positive reaction from him because if he loves you then he’ll feel bad for not realizing how insignificant you’ve been feeling.  If he can’t change or improve or he has a bad reaction to all this, then move on and find a guy who will adore you in every way possible!

xoxox

Anonymous asked: Why do you think women are more uncomfortable to admitting they masturbate?

Probably because it’s more common to hear guys talk about it.  And because other women might have a negative response when they hear a girl friend talking about.  However, I’ll let you in on a little secret:  If you admit to doing things with confidence and you welcome the negative comments, it makes it SUPER difficult for people to judge and it makes it MUCH more comfortable to start talking about everything.  That’s what I do!

Anonymous asked: What would you say is the weirdest place you've had sex?

No places have been weird! They were all perfect for the moment.